We all have a story that shapes who we are. Where we’ve lived, the bonds we form with others, and our experiences influence our beliefs and behavior. Unfortunately, we often do not take the time to get to know the stories of the people we meet, especially in the workplace. Whether we feel we do not have the time or fail to recognize the value, not learning someone’s story neglects a vital human element that strengthens relationships and businesses.
My years in the recruiting industry have taught me the importance of everyone’s story. Too often, recruiters prioritize a candidate’s resume and disregard what happened in their life that shaped the person. The recruiter focuses on matching a candidate’s listed job experience and skills with the position’s profile without asking crucial questions that inspire storytelling. Such as, can you tell me about your upbringing, what is your most significant achievement so far, and what three elements in your life do you value most? Curious questions inspire candidates to expand on their life experiences beyond their names and resumes. However, not taking the time to ask insightful questions can make the recruiting process impersonal and transactional and neglect an essential human need: meaningful connection.
Establishing a relationship is one of the most important reasons to know someone’s story. Learning about someone’s past helps us better understand their values, beliefs, and motivations. Knowing these critical human elements helps a recruiter better align candidates with companies that share the same principles. In addition, the more profound awareness of a candidate helps us build trust and mutual respect, making everyone feel safer, more comfortable, and more confident throughout the process.
When we share our stories with others, we create a space for the vulnerability that can lead to meaningful relationships. Psychologists have proven that a person’s vulnerability motivates others to do the same. I often volunteer my story first, so the candidate feels more comfortable sharing theirs. After I share, I also let the candidate know that their story helps me determine what company will best fit their life. When a candidate’s and company’s values and beliefs connect, it can dramatically improve a candidate’s well-being and create a lasting relationship.
Défis RH prioritizes fostering genuine relationships with every candidate and client we work with because it supports our human approach to business. London-born author Tahir Shah says, “Stories are a communal currency of humanity.” We often forget that behind a person’s name and resume or a company’s building and logo are humans with unique experiences, principles, aspirations, and goals. When we prioritize a human approach, we cultivate valuable empathy that helps us understand the challenges that someone has faced. The empathy we feel for our candidates and clients allows us to appreciate the complexity of their experiences and guides us to make better decisions for them.
Psychologists have proven that our unconscious mind only takes seven seconds to judge another person. This unwitting action often prevents us from forming meaningful connections with others. Our ignorant judgment prevents us from seeing, hearing, thinking, and feeling from the other person’s perspective. Instead, we view the person through a spoiled lens that can influence our perspective of and behavior toward the person. However, when we cultivate a habit of creating time and a safe space to ask curious questions and actively listen, we learn stories that have the potential to change our understanding and relationship with others as well as our relationship with ourselves.
Learning someone’s story can also have dramatic benefits on our well-being. Hearing what happened to a person helps us appreciate the complexity and richness of the human experience and inspires us to reflect on our narrative. This unique self-awareness helps us become more empathetic, compassionate, and open-minded. Through self-reflection, we become better listeners, more effective communicators, and more respectful members of our communities. So the next time you meet a new client or see a colleague you do not genuinely know, I challenge you to take the time to create a safe space where you can share your story. You might find that the person is inspired to share theirs, and you will spark a relationship that will forever change how you communicate and work together.
Please contact Défis RH today to learn more about our company and why your story matters to us.
